Growing pains: the role of family in adolescents' adaptation to the new school year
Blog written by the psychologists at Psinove. We explore topics related to psychology and psychotherapy, daily challenges, and reflections.
The return to school can be a moment of increased anxiety for some students who are starting their journey in a new school or educational stage. And when this beginning coincides with adolescence? There are too many changes and emotions. What is the role of the family in managing this?
Classes are organized, schedules posted. "I have a free Thursday afternoon," it's also the only day the tutor can schedule an hour. The best friend has gone to another school. Swimming and dance class have to fit somewhere in the week. Next Saturday is the friend's birthday.
By this time, the school year has already started for all students in the country and, for those who have moved to a new educational stage, it has brought significant changes. There is a harmony that is as beautiful as it is frightening between the socio-emotional and physical changes experienced in adolescence and the simultaneous changes in the educational path, as if it were a cosmic departure.
Growing up isn't easy, when you least expect it something changes. The body, the family, friends, the context.
According to the Dictionary of the Portuguese Language, Adolescer - "to become an adolescent, to enter adolescence" - comes from the Latin "adolescĕre" and means to grow. This metamorphosis brings questions, intense emotions, responsibilities, and sometimes a volatile and contradictory desire to stop time and not grow up and simultaneously to want more.
It's natural to experience higher levels of anxiety at the beginning of the school year. Any change is uncomfortable, and after the summer vacation, it's important to ease back into the routine, organize the school schedule, extracurricular activities, and free time to smooth the restart.
With entry into a new school or educational stage, families should be open to any questions raised by younger members. It's normal for children transitioning from primary to secondary education to have doubts about test scheduling and presentations of work, and for teenagers entering secondary education to encounter doubts about the right choice of course or to feel overwhelmed by school demands and social pressures: new classmates, new social groups...
The role of families is to pay attention to any changes in the behavior of children and adolescents who are starting a new stage and to facilitate adaptation - changes in appetite and sleep, lack of motivation for activities that were once pleasurable, irritability, headaches or stomachaches, and social isolation are some of the signs that anxiety may be taking hold of the younger ones and that action is needed to reduce its impact.
On the one hand, families should show themselves available to listen, understand, receive, and accept the initial doubts and emotions without judging or anticipating solutions. It's important to provide support and empathy if adaptation to a new context is causing discomfort and the young person is showing it - whether by withdrawing into themselves or by expressing the need to speak out.
On the other hand, they should assist in managing expectations by giving space for the teenager to find solutions to new challenges; not pressuring for results but guiding towards the learning process: praise effort, establish routines, show interest in school-related matters.
No less important, allow and encourage socialization. In adolescence, we must practice balance between responsibilities and leisure time. Adolescents should not be prevented from being with friends, attending birthday parties, playing a sport, or going for a walk. By participating in these activities, they are developing socio-emotional skills, healthy relationships, and useful tools for the challenges of other life contexts such as school and family.
This week marked the beginning of another school year for many Portuguese teenagers, it is up to families to facilitate the adaptation and balance that adolescents need to feel confident and capable in this growth process. Have a great school year everyone!
Article published on Sapo 24
