Why do we take work in the travel bag when we go on vacation?
Blog written by the psychologists at Psinove. We explore topics related to psychology and psychotherapy, daily challenges, and reflections.
Despite vacations being a moment of self-care, many people feel apprehensive about distancing themselves from work. Psychotherapy can help balance the work/personal life relationship so that it is possible to fully enjoy leisure time.
Summer has arrived, and with it, the much-awaited vacations. The time of year when it's finally possible to enjoy recreational time and be free from the work responsibilities that consume daily life brings, for many people, feelings of ambivalence. Why is it that something we anticipate as positive can cause discomfort?
According to some organizational psychologists, about a third of our lives is spent working. The workplace often becomes a second home. For this reason, it's natural to develop a binding and attachment relationship with it. The quality of this relationship is crucial and can explain why many people approach vacations with apprehension and struggle to "disconnect" from work. There are many psychological phenomena responsible for the reluctance, more or less conscious, to leave work behind.
In general, emotions like guilt and fear are responsible for the difficulty in setting boundaries regarding work before and during vacation periods. The anticipation that others may become overwhelmed by inheriting my tasks while I'm away, or the fear that there may be serious consequences for not being present, whether due to high responsibility or external pressures from management, can contribute to this difficulty.
The need for control also represents, in some cases, an obstacle to setting boundaries. We can identify it in thoughts like "If I don't do it, no one else will," "Only if I'm present will the work be done well," "I can't leave any tasks unfinished," among others. This need translates into a fear of not being 'in the loop' and difficulties in delegating tasks, which can intensify stress before and during vacations.
On the other hand, some people may experience difficulty in being attentive to their needs, in valuing them, and in asserting them. Beliefs related to self-devaluation, unworthiness, and self-sacrifice are also linked to the difficulty in establishing a comfortable distance from work. For some people, the very fact that they are being "paid to rest" causes discomfort and guilt.
All these psychological phenomena represent challenges when it comes to planning vacations but also enjoying them fully and being present. Moreover, they influence the relationship with work as a whole and, consequently, the quality of life and perception of psychological well-being. The lack of boundaries in the relationship with work entails risks ranging from mild stress to burnout syndrome (according to the World Health Organization, characterized by "a feeling of exhaustion, cynicism, or negative feelings related to work and reduced professional efficacy").
Psychotherapy can be an extremely useful tool in understanding and resolving problems associated with the imbalance between work and personal life. Here are some possible focuses of psychotherapeutic work around these themes:
- Identification and affirmation of basic needs: Becoming aware of, recognizing, and validating the need to have moments of leisure and tranquility, for example.
- Identification of emotional obstacles to meeting these needs (for example, fear and guilt) and their origin based on life history and previous experiences.
- Awareness of functioning patterns: Often, the processes that promote difficulties related to work are present in other contexts or emotional investment relationships in the person's life.
- Emotional regulation: Learning to manage difficult-to-tolerate emotions that come with asserting needs. For example, developing and practicing strategies to manage the anxiety of not answering work calls during vacations.
- Behavioral rehearsal of boundary setting and assertive communication training: Practicing explicit communication of rules like "I will only be available for emergencies."
Despite the many nuances and challenges that make it unique, a healthy relationship with work follows the same principles as any other healthy relationship: being cherished and valued, being able to exist with our needs, being seen and understood, and feeling entitled to assert our boundaries.
And, just like in all healthy relationships (even those that fulfill us greatly), it feels good to have a little time to take care of ourselves, without guilt and without fear.
Happy holidays!
Article published on Sapo 24
